I feel like I’ve always wanted to say new year, new me and really mean it forever! Well, so far, 2020 has been my year to say new year, new me! A lot of exciting developments have happened over the past year. 2019 proved to be one of my most challenging years on record, but at the same time, it also proved to be the most rewarding by far with the birth of my son, Yair, in October. Yes, Sachkia is someone’s Mama. I still can’t believe it really.
I remember reading years before some line about children forcing you to be who you really are. At the time, I thought, people are always trying to project their experiences on someone. Well, folks, I am people, and you’re about to be someone.
For many years now, I’ve been working at being more aligned in all areas of my life, but particularly with work and my interactions with others. The entrance of this young man into my life, the process of nurturing those tiny cells into an actual human being has birthed me in a way I don’t think I would ever have been had it not been for the experience of pregnancy and actually being tasked with bringing forth life and now nurturing that life. On many days I look at him and consider my life now and want to ask myself – who is this? Then I chuckle and say to myself, it’s me, stripped down in my most authentic form.
Stroll down memory lane
When I first became an entrepreneur in 2009, my company name was Echo Consulting. I had concocted some ridiculously horrid line about communication practices that are long-lasting – echo – get it? Yeah, it sounds just as silly now as I felt trying to explain it then.
That lasted for about a year before I really just wanted to be me and stop pretending that I was some large consultancy firm when on most days it was an uber hyper and twiggy young lady power walking everywhere with a laptop and some pretty great ideas. I wanted to be more aligned. I wanted to be me, and so in 2010, Barnes PR was born.
And what a difference a name makes! I was no longer shy saying my company’s name and the mere fact that my name was on; it also told me that this gig had to work. It was motivating and settling all at the same time. Now, there are some people that forget my first name altogether and call me Barnes PR.
My quest to be realigned also started itching me around 2014. Momentum was building in business, but I always wanted to do more to connect with my core values of service and competence. It wasn’t until 2017 that I scratched that itch and took a more significant step to refocus my company and its resources to get back to those values.
A few months later, life or nature happened. Cue in a natural disaster that at the time, was the worse on record that literally flattened my island paradise – Hurricane Irma. In the name of service to my community, I threw myself headfirst into political PR that I thought I wanted to leave just a few months prior and stayed in that zone for 17 long months.
New Year, New Changes
Just a week after the end of a challenging work project in early 2019, I found out I was expecting and this new me, was also in an embryonic stage. After getting over my initial “take me now Lord” first few months of pregnancy, I emerged with a deeper desire to one – relax and two – do the things that I always wanted to do. The person who I always wanted to be privately started being a very public me during those months of pregnancy.
I started saying what was on my mind, unfiltered. Some people weren’t ready for that in my business and personal life, but I felt unburdened. I learned that taking care of your mental health is really important. I had some really big battles to fight, and I opted not to fight those battles in a manner I would typically want to because I was really trying to be on a zen train. That served me well, and time gave me a greater perspective to now tackle those battles.
I became a boho Marie Kundo and junior minimalist. The clothing I wore throughout my pregnancy could fit in one drawer or small suitcase. I was hell-bent on not spending money on maternity clothes and accumulating extra things and guess what, I survived without added stuff. Nursing bras were a necessary purchase. Your breast turning into melons is a real thing.
I also bought a pair of maternity shorts because well, summer 2019 was the hot girl summer and global warming. It was hot, really hot and no one wants to be around a hot and angry pregnant lady. I learned that a good pair of yoga pants can be dressed up with a blazer and dressed down with a tank top and kimono, and I would be just fine. Now, after the pregnancy, I’m still in those clothes and feeling great.
I also learned that I’m one of “those women”. You know the ones that want to have their babies in their living room in a pool with soft music and candles. Once the child is born, they also cloth diaper, wear babies and have ambitions of breastfeeding for two years. This realization has been the most impactful and settling.
After finding out I was pregnant, I instinctively knew I wanted a natural unmedicated birth. I still don’t know where and how that popped into my head, but it did and just as it entered it became embedded in my brain, and there was no turning back. It took me on a journey of lots of reading and endless hours of YouTube positive birth videos. Shout out to those women for sharing their lives in that manner.
See, I always knew I would have children. But early on, I made a conscious decision to focus on my career and well, get that out the way before starting a family. I wanted to be in a position to dedicate my time and attention to my family without feeling like I was missing out on something. The timing was just right for my husband and me.
However, if I’m being totally honest, I would also add that I’ve always wanted children but never wanted to go through the process of actually having a child. But I discovered great books, hypnobirthing, great doulas and women who regularly have the experience I wanted to have. I felt I found my tribe and became confident in the birth I wanted to experience and confident in the mother I wanted to be. For the most part, I was able to achieve my desired birth, and I felt like a damn superhero after.
I’ve been learning to captain my new life and I’m excited to share the journey with you. Navigating life with a tiny human is how do we say, different. For example, getting out of the house would take me minutes once I’ve decided or knew I had to be somewhere.
These days, those few minutes can quickly turn into 60. Between being afraid to wake a sleeping baby, nursing before we leave, a change of clothes for him or even me after reflux and let’s not talk about this car seat life, it can be a lot on your girl just to go run an errand. But thankfully, I do have lots of support and assistance to call on. And for that, I am very, grateful.
So yeah, 2020 is a new year, and you will be seeing and hearing more from the real me – the whole me, an entrepreneur, wife, someone’s Mama and always, a girl’s supporter. Happy New Year to you!